I Advise You To Buckle UpMy Name is Garrett (just like the turbo company)
Drive an 07' R18 (RR)
See what I see when sitting in the driver seat.
I lie here looking into the ceiling fan and just zone out while it’s spinning at a high speed. As I look at the blades that are moving at a fast rate I begin to see scenes and human figures being displayed like it’s a movie. Sadly this is not a movie to sit and enjoy. Sadness is what I see in the blades of the fan and it’s nothing but pain to the human eye. Memories that you wish would just leave you alone and never bother you. We can never run away from them nor can we change them.
All I see now is the little boy inside of me that shakes his head in disappointment. He is disgusted with what he sees and walks away without looking back. I see the tears drop from the side of his face showing that the man he hoped to grow up to be someone he was proud of. I failed him. I reach out to him but he is too far….
There is no good in me as I see nothing but pain I have brought to others. I’ve lived my life thinking I would be good but it seems that I only grew into the monster I swore to never become…
You work hard to turn your life around and become a better person. But in a moment of weakness your actions show that the past is still there and comes out when you least expect it. Everything in your mind just disappears and you ignore your instincts because you put up a wall saying “Do Not Disturb”. When a friend is brought into the equation it just doesn’t go well and you end up hurting them in some of the worst ways possible.
They say demons exist inside of us and it is our duty to control ourselves and not let them influence us. I failed at that and the result was hurting a friend. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being a good person and finding out that I’m still that same person being influenced by his demons. The world has good people and I thought I was in that category but sadly I am not.
Don’t hurt the ones close to you, because they are the ones that are true.
I grow more frustrated every day. The stress has hit an all time high and my health is not doing too well. I blame myself for all of it because there is always something I could improve on but I just don’t act on it or at least quickly. I just want it all to end so I can just live my life the way I want to and just overall, relax. Meet that special woman and just live a life worth sharing. Still waiting for her and have been for a very long time….. One day…. One day.